MileSplit Sunday Report - HS Track & Field too popular in the US

A recent study has shown that track & field has been gaining too much popularity in the United States.  MileSplit has thrived on the page views guaranteed by the throngs of parents and coaches clicking through to see their son/daughter/athlete's profile page to find results, photos and videos.  MileSplit has been successful in this enterprise, but feels as though it is no longer a challenge. 

MileSplit CEO Jason Byrne announced, "We are way too successful at covering this sport, and something must change.  Change is good!"

Today MileSplit announces EqueNordicRugbySplit.com.  With this site we hope to capture the excitement of Equestrian events, Nordic events and the great sport of Rugby.  Universal Sports will be a great partner in this venture, as they have intimate access to all of these events.  At first our coverage will be rather light, as few middle school and high school athletes in the United States compete in these events.  However, we feel that our push into these events will spur a passion that will rival the popularity of checkers in a football locker room. 

Byrne continues to say, "MileSplit.com was responsible for track & field gaining popularity with the high school audience over the past decade and we feel that we can do the same with the sports we intend to cover as we enter a new era for our company."

This is a drastic move for such an entrenched company and it will require significant internal changes.  To start, MileSplit HQ will be moving from sunny Florida to Switzerland so that coverage of Nordic events will be as deep as possible.  CEO Jason Byrne and Videographer Todd Grasley will be heading up this department.  Byrne remarked that, "I have always had a love for skiing, but couldn't quite avoid the trees.  This move will give me the ability to cover the skiers that actually make it down the mountain without falling."  Grasley added, "I have never actually seen snow before, but it should be pretty sweet."

To cover the Equestrian events COO Don Rich and co-national editor Lyle Knudson will be relocating to Kentucky.  Don is excited about the move, saying, "Photographing slow moving high-schoolers has gotten quite boring.  I am looking forward to the challenge of capturing shots of horses moving at high speed."  Lyle added, "Horses are cool."

Co-national editor Aaron Rich and social media director David Pickett are being asked to relocate to New Zealand to enrich the Rugby coverage of the site.  Aaron is pretty excited, saying, "It will be cool to explore a new country, but I have no idea what rugby is or how it is played."  David added, "I think that Rugby, whatever it is, is going to be the next track & field.  We can bring the popularity of the event back to the United States."

MileSplit CEO Jason Byrne feels confident in the switch, remarking that "If we are successful in this new market then our brand will be associated with killing off football and bringing rise to rugby in America.  We will be hugely popular then, I am sure."

 

In other news, Dyestat.com (A smaller rival to MileSplit) has also decided that track & field has received too much coverage over the years.  John Dye had this to say, "We have been overjoyed to have covered the sport of high school track & field for so many years, but we now feel it is time to move on.  Today we announce the revolutionary new site, DyeSteaks.com.  This site will feature high definition videos of me, John Dye, cooking steaks on my grill. I will have recipes and side dishes galore."  Donna Dye added, "My new series, 'Donna on the sides', will feature photos of the complementary dishes I make to accompany John's steaks."  John concluded, "I feel we have a winner here!"

 

With the two biggest HS track & field sites in the country calling it quits, the future is uncertain for the sport.  But this much is clear, the sports of the world are about to descend upon America.  And after you are done watching, there will be a nice steak (with sides) waiting for you at the dinner table.  Happy April Fools Day!